Many people are concerned about their libido. Some worry their libido is too high, others worry their libido is too low!
The truth is, libido, or your appetite for sexual arousal, is influenced by many different factors. Libido is very relative – only you can decide how much sexual arousal is a healthy amount for you and your relationship.
We do know, however, that libido increases when you receive more touch and have more sex. So if you want to increase your libido, start getting more intimate with your lover whether or not you are in the mood. You don’t have to have intercourse- just touch, cuddle and get naked together. You may find your appetite for arousal increases!
Stress is the #1 enemy of libido. Stress blocks your ability to get aroused! If you suspect that stress is killing your sex drive, you may want to start exploring Couples Massage. Massage is the best way to relax, release chronic stress and reconnect with your lover.
“Stress makes you tired, distracted and unmotivated to do anything, much less have sex,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center for women’s sexual health in Chicago. “When a woman is stressed, the hormonal changes in her body trigger a chemical reaction causing sex hormone–binding globulin to bind with testosterone cells, so they’re unavailable for libido and sexual response.”
You may also want to examine your relationships to desire. What pleasures do you crave? What pleasures do you allow yourself?
Notice all the places in your life you have desire and don’t allow it. We are taught to desire consumer goods – but not some of the more satisfying things in life (fulfillment, touch, intimacy, freedom) With all the consumer chaos, figuring out what you truly desire is a high art. Tuning in to your particular desires is a major part of feeling fulfilled.
Another big enemy of libido include pharmaceutical drugs. If you are on any sort of medication and suspect your libido is lower than it once was, talk to your doctor to see if this side effect can be remedied!
Check out our podcast episode on what to do when one of you has a low libido:
Episode #006: Wife Doesn’t Want Sex? Here’s What To Do!