It is true what everyone says: communication is the lifeblood of a relationship!
But communication in a relationship is not just about having long intimate conversations over candlelight. Communication is a full-time process that happens in every interaction you have with your partner.
We communicate not just with our words, but with our bodies, sounds, touch, gestures. How close you sit on the couch together is a strong communication about how you are feeling about one another.
Here are some brief tips to start building stronger, more positive communication with your lover:
- When it comes to communicating about sexual pleasure, the first step is getting comfortable talking about sex. Start by talking about sex as a general topic. Talk about stories that happen in the news and in your community. What are your sexual values? Where did your beliefs about sex come from?
- If you want to ask for something specific in your sex life or guide your partner in pleasuring you more effectively, communicate with compassion and care. If possible, communicate positive first. “That feels good, could you do it a little softer?”
- It is also a great idea to practice checking in about sex later that day or the next day. What could make it even better?
- If something worked or felt particularly good, mention it. “I loved it when. . . “
- On a day to day basis, tell your partner what pleasures you about your interactions. This creates culture of appreciation and pleasure in your relationship – and makes it easier hear feedback about what needs to change.
- Ask your lover what they desire. Be willing to try new things. By asking, you open the dialogue, making it safer for both of you to express desires.
Clearly, communication is a huge topic and these are just a few tips to get you started!
Here are some of our podcast episodes that go in depth on communication in relationships:
Episode #007: How To Share Sexual Fantasies With Your Lover
Episode #012: Sharing Your Desires With A Defensive Partner